Game Girl

Now that the shock has worn off and I've had time to accept that football season is over until July (or possibly longer, God forbid, if these labor negotiations don't resolve), I'm taking a step back to reminisce about all the things I really, really love about football on TV. I list them here in no particular order, and with a wistful eye toward next season.

1. Monday Night Football. What's not to love? (Well, except Mike Tirico, but let's not get picky...)

2. Jimmy, Howie and Terry. Need I say more? Notice I left off Michael Strahan and "that other one" who took James Brown's place, because nobody can really follow James Brown, and that's a fact.

3. The NFL Network, in real time. Without all the recycled content. And cheerleader shows. And games from 1955. Sheeesh.

4. "C'mon, Man!" - my favorite, all-time. It's just funny, plain and simple. I won't even attempt to write an explanation.

5. Followed only by, "Jacked Up!", another awesome ode to football at its best. I particularly love this when one of my Skins players is featured, which used to happen a LOT when Sean Taylor was alive. Not so much anymore.

6. College Gameday Live. Really?? How great is that show?! It's too bad I didn't go to a "real" football school when I was in college, and it's also too bad this show wasn't on when I was in school. Cause if I did, and if it was, I'd have been FRONT AND CENTER holding up some crazy sign and trying to get Kirk Herbstreit to gaze my way. Ah, to be young again.

7. Football Night in America - well, this one isn't really a classic, at least not yet. But it's work-able. I say, keep Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth, both of whom I LOVE, and just get rid of Dan Patrick and that ridiculous Keith Olbermann. And tell Al Roker to stop saying "Sunday, SUUUU-NNNNDAY" during his Today Show weather forecasts. Then, my friends, we might have ourselves a show.

8. Speaking of Sundays, let's not forget the real reason we love football on TV...'cause it's on ALL DAY SUNDAY. Sorry, but the NBA, hockey, skiing, ice skating, bowling, tennis, golf (except maybe the Masters) or even NASCAR just can't compete with a full slate of NFL games. The only thing that comes close during the off-season? The winter Olympics, but they only happen every 4 years and we've got a long time to wait, so I don't really count them on this list.

There's more, of course, but I'm getting nostalgic just writing this list, so I think I'll leave it there for now. Go ahead and gloat, baseball fans...it's your time to shine.

So, the NFL is THE most marketable, profitable entity in the world of sports. Hands down. Unless you count international soccer, which, for the purposes of this discussion, I don't. Why, then, is there all this crazy talk about work-stoppages, strikes, and I-don't-know-what-all surrounding our nation's most popular sport? Please tell me this is a joke, and not a very good one.

We've been hearing whispers of a labor dispute, contract troubles, and all sorts of disagreements between players and owners since early 2009. And all along, I personally felt the two sides would come to an agreement, since, as we all know, it is in the best interests of all key parties involved to get their butts in gear and negotiate a deal that keeps football in business - FOREVER.

And yet, here we are, just weeks after one of the best, and most watched, Superbowls in history, staring down a serious NFL labor strike. A lock-out. No football, possibly into the fall. For real.

What is the problem? I know the owners and the players are far apart on their respective sides, but seriously, can't they find someone, or a series of someones, to help them figure this thing out? Otherwise, on March 3, when free agency opens, guess what? There isn't going to BE a free agency market. And then, no mini-camps, no OTA's, and - AAAHH - no training camp. And without training camp, there probably won't be a season...at least not a very good one.

The NFL, aside from being the most profitable sports behemoth in town, also boasts the absolute best off-season around. Fans -- myself included -- really love this stuff. Trades, free agency, the draft, rookie camps...it's all great. And training camp - well, without training camp, I might just curl up and die poolside this summer. Seriously.

Someone needs to get the owners and players back to the negotiating table and get them talking -- stat. Remind them what happened to baseball during their strike in the '90's, and how long it took to build up goodwill with baseball fans again. Let them know, in no uncertain terms, fans around the country are upset, angry, frightened about a future without football. It's looking bleak. And there is no good reason for it.

Let's be clear: I don't begrude the players for trying to get a fair and equitable settlement with their new collective bargaining agreement. And while I don't usually side with management, I can also understand the owners' side, although I think they are being really short-sighted right now and for that, I think they are going to wind up paying dearly for their stubborn resistance to negotiating.

In any event, I'm just in shock that it has actually gotten to this point. Both sides have had two years to get a deal done, and they've refused to yield. I fear that unless they call for reinforcements at the negotiating table, we're going to be in for the longest off-sesaon since 1984.

Someone call in some smart people and put them in charge of this mess, quick!

Just remember, the first weekend is always the hardest. That's why they give you the Pro Bowl, and now the Senior Bowl, as consolation prizes. They are there to help wean us off the football-watching obsession we've gotten sucked into over the past 5 months (6, if you count training camp, which I most certainly do!) It's like quitting smoking. You need one of those patch-things to help wean you off the nicotine at first. And then slowly, you can start to cope on your own.

So, unless you are a Steeler or Packer fan -- and believe me, your time is coming soon, folks -- it's time, as they say, to hang up the cleats and move on. Sunday afternoons, and evenings, and Monday nights, are football-free now, much as it pains me to say. So now, it's time to figure out your plan. Ask yourself, "Where do I go from here? How do I move on?" I'm not going to say it's easy. I'm just here to say, you can do it. You have to. You have no other choice.

Some of you will segway relatively seamlessly into college basketball, or spring training, or even the NBA (does anyone actually WATCH regular-season NBA games anymore?? I guess they do...) Some won't need any "crutch sports", you'll just go cold turkey and start doing real-life things again like going shopping or seeing a movie on a Sunday afternoon. Ugh. And some sad sacks, like me, will twist in the wind waiting for any miserable scrap of football-related information to help keep us afloat until OTA's, mini-camp and training camp start up again. It's not a pretty life, but it's the one we've got, so I guess what I'm saying is, embrace it.

This is the longest stretch, kids. The most painful one. We just have to endure for a while. Try to cope. Take a vacation or something. Replace football with other things, like, uh, well...OK, like spending quality time with people again. I know it sounds hideous, but really, what other choice do we have?

There are some bright sides to this rather dim, depressing scenario. Like not feeling that panicky feeling on Sunday morning that you won't make it home in time for the game while in line at the Home Depot. Or not spending Sunday night in agony, reading blog post after miserable blog post, after your team loses...again. Or how about this? You can now wake up on Sunday and have the WHOLE day to do whatever you want to do.

I know, I know...what you REALLY want to do is watch football. But that's not possible now, unfortunately, so it's time to move on. Pull the band-aid off quickly, it hurts less that way. It's time to cut our losses and wipe the slate clean.

Just remember, it's a process. It will get better, little by little, I promise. And before you know it, free agency will open and life will begin anew...